5 things to do when you lose your job

I just lost my job.

That conversation may start with “we’re downsizing as a company,” or “let’s talk about your performance,” but either way that conversation usually ends with feelings of sadness, confusion, angst, disbelief, anxiety, or hopelessness.

I’ve been there. It happened to me a few years ago. I felt my position was redundant (I was working at a very large company at the time), but I was let go and completely caught off guard. I had 30 minutes to collect everything, return my laptop, and say goodbye. I was shocked by the abruptness and finality of it all.
 

As the father of 2 kids (at the time), all the usual questions came while I was driving home:

  • How am I going to support my family?
  • What should I do now?
  • Where do I go from here?
  • How do I apply for unemployment? Should I?
  • What will I tell my friends?
  • Will it be hard to find a new job?
  •  Should I have done something different or been interviewing somewhere else?

In the middle of all those questions and the anxiety I felt building, one thought came into my mind that I had to repeat to myself over and over: I’m still the same person. Nothing about ME changed from when I went into work this morning, other than I don’t have a job.  

Not sure where to start? Start with these 5 things when you lose your job:

 

1. Breathe.

You have time now. You won’t find another job in a day, and not everything will be solved right away. Be patient. Unemployment takes time, figuring out COBRA and other benefits takes time, etc. Just breathe. If you need to cry or be angry, let yourself experience that for a bit and let it out.

2. Remember that who you are as a person hasn’t changed AT ALL.

 

In the U.S. we usually define ourselves by our careers. Meet someone new at a party and one of the first things we ask is something like “what do you do for work?” That’s fine, but subliminally that tells us that if we DON’T have a job we are somehow worth less.

When you lose your job you have to make a conscious effort to remind yourself, over and over, that who you are as a person is independent of whether or not you have a job. Your dog will look at you the same when you get home, and others should too.

3. Brain dump all the important details of your job, progression, etc.

This is crucial. You will forget all sorts of little details about your (past) job as time goes on, making interviews harder and leading to a weaker resume / LinkedIn page. Focus on writing down the following:

  • Dates (especially if you worked multiple roles): it’s easy to forget how long you were in each role
  • Bullet out your day to day responsibilities.
  • Accomplishments: be COMPLETELY honest and transparent here. Claim all the credit you deserve, and, I think, you can write down private information for your own remembrance. Nail a $3M contract, or save the company $250k by implementing a new system? Get it on paper.
  •  Salary: write out all the details of your benefits, as you’ll want to remember where you were when you talk salary at your next prospective employer. An example would be:
    • Base Salary: $125,000
    • Bonus: 10-20%. Last year was 15%, year before was 10%.
    • Time off: 15 days vacation, 5 days sick, 9 company holidays
    • Health insurance: Company pays for employee and $500 toward family, etc.
    • Retirement: 401k match of 50%, up to 6% from employee. So I put in 6% and they put in 3%.
4. Write out key people you want to stay in touch with from the company, clients, vendors, etc. and, for your own reference (because, again, you’ll forget it), any things you worked on with that person that you want to remember.

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Write notes to the people you want to stay in touch with. Handwritten seems like a bit much, so you can go with email. Tell them what you enjoyed about working with them, strengths you saw in them, etc. The point is that you want them to remember you with positive sentiment, and there’s no reason to end on a sour note, as you’re already gone. And, you never know if you’ll end up coming across that person again in the future. 

 

5. Figure out benefits (COBRA, FSA, severance, unemployment)

This isn’t fun but it sure is important. You’ll usually need to fill out some sort of separation paperwork that covers a bunch of things, including:

  • COBRA: some companies cover it, and some don’t. It is usually VERY EXPENSIVE to continue on your own (e.g. 2x what you paid as an employee) but based on your personal situation you may need to do it. Pro tip: signing up for COBRA is retroactive to the day you were laid off, and you can usually sign up for it up to 90 days or more after leaving, so you can do what I did in the past: not sign up, wait a month or two and see if you get a new job or run into serious medical bills / needs, paying cash for small office visits that may come up. If you do, then sign up for COBRA and pay retroactively. But if not, then by not signing up for COBRA you can save yourself hundreds, if not thousands of $.
  • FSA: look up when that ends, so you can make sure to use up anything left over
  • Severance:  if you are part of the few who receive a severance, check all the paperwork you need to sign and make sure you’re comfortable with it. Some states don’t support non-compete agreements, for example, so you may want to ask a lawyer if you have any concerns.